Snow Blows

There is a radio station called East Coast Radio in South Africa that happens to be my companion most days as I drive around the farm. This morning, some ignoramoose was talking about snow tourisits, and she really pushed my buttons, so I sent ECR an email....


Dear ECR,

Whilst driving around the farm this morning, listening to ECR, your show came on and you mentioned a letter that you had received from a Midlands Farmer complaining about snow tourists. This struck a chord as I myself feel the exact same way as your anonymous letter writer. I couldn't, however, believe the response that you suggested we "make the most out of the situation by charging entry and selling coffee and hot chocolate to tourists". I was completely flabbergasted at the naivety and ignorance of your statement.

When it snows on a farm, we do not sit back and put our feet up, sip on a cup of coffee and admire the lovely white landscape whilst people frolic in our back yards building snow men and generally enjoying themselves. No. We have to WORK in the freezing cold, making sure that there is electricity (supplied by generators when Eskom is down, which is ALWAYS the case when it snows) by supplying said generators with diesel, so that we can milk 500 freezing, hungry cows. We then go out and feed 500 freezing cows with tractors and other large dangerous machinery that is often blocked from using the road by snow tourists who have managed to drive their non-4x4 vehicles onto a PRIVATE property and get them stuck in a snow drift. These tourists then DEMAND that we use our tractors (which are busy WORKING to provide a livelihood) to pull them out of the snow so that they can continue to cut fences and damage property, whilst being rude to the people who own that property. We are then also expected to be happy and cheerful to these tourists and provide them with a hot beverage - a privilege that we probably haven't enjoyed for several days due to frozen water pipes and no electricity. To top it all off, we often have to go out late at night (exhausted after a hard days physical work) to round up all the animals that escape through these cut fences onto the main road. And then we get up the next day before the sun, to do it all over again. So forgive me for not feeling thrilled at the prospect of offering these VANDALS a hot beverage or two.

If snow tourists want happy service from people in the SERVICE INDUSTRY, they are welcome to go play in the snow in a PUBLIC area that caters to these needs. I can suggest Linga Lapa, The Windmills, The Junction and Piggly Wiggly as a few alternatives to PRIVATE PROPERTY. At these places they will also find refreshments and service professionals, not grumpy, cold, frustrated farmers.

Personally this year I will have my slurry spreader at the ready, and at the first sign of snow fall, will be decorating the verges of our road with a thick layer of animal effluent for all the snow tourists to wade through. Perhaps then they can understand and appreciate the amount of shit we have to go through every year putting up with them.

Kind Regards,

Leigh Thomas

Farm Manager

Do you think she got the message about encouraging farmers to enjoy snow tourists...?