Nothing compares (Caution: Baby Story!)

Everyone says that you'll never be fully prepared for the enormity of having your first child. They fill your head with horror stories of how "you can just forget about your free time" and how "you'll never sleep again", or that you are "trapped for the next 20 years of your life"... You are constantly regaled with other peoples' stories about their Life After Children/Kids (which shall forthwith be appropriately referred to as LACK), that all seem to have a common patronising undertone and are inevitably negative.

What bollocks.

Having been inundated with such nerve wracking drivel, it should come as no surprise to you that I was super nervous, and quite frankly, terrified, of this new little person who was about to enter our perfect little lives. What had we let ourselves in for? Would our lives change so drastically that we would hate every minute of every day with our little bundle of poop and tantrums? Would we come to regret the day we ever decided to multiply, and wish that we could go back to the perfect serenity and freedom of just the two of us again?

Preparations were frenzied - we shopped for all the things that we were told we would need. Babies need special sterilisers, and special creams and shampoos, and everything you buy/get has to be washed dozens of times before baby comes so that baby doesn't develop a rash from new clothes etc...all very complicated and daunting this LACK story... And of course in the meantime, the scary stories and patronising comments kept coming - "you're doing cloth nappies? Good luck with that, you'll be back on disposables within a week!" and "nothing ever works out the way you planned, it wont be perfect no matter how prepared you are."

Wow.

My experience in those last few weeks before baby was due is that people are really intimidating towards new mothers. You'd think it would be enough to just smile and ask how you are doing, but the constant comments and "advice" were actually no help whatsoever when it came to putting us at ease about our new little person's imminent arrival. Luckily for us, we generally take most opinions with a pinch of salt, and although the nerves were there (who wouldn't be nervous about having a baby?!) Dale and I couldn't wait to start this new chapter in our lives.

Isla Rae Thomas made her arrival into this world a week early on the 17th September 2015. We had planned to try for a natural birth, but after several hours of "trying", and after thousands of litres of "happy gas" had been consumed, she was very unceremoniously removed via emergency c-section, a welcomed relief for mom who promptly fell asleep after baby left theatre with dad to go get all cleaned up! All the grand ideas of a gentle natural birth and skin-to-skin contact straight after birth (things that were very important before going into labour), completely disappeared into thin air as we marvelled at the tiny little creature in our arms, safe and sound and healthy. There is no feeling that can compare to that feeling you get when you hold you're own child for the first time. It really is profound. I never thought I could ever love something with my entire being the way that I love her. She is remarkable. Every moment that I am away from her I have the most ridiculous FOMO...I just don't want to miss a second with her.  

So...what about all those comments on how our "lives would change forever" and that we'd "never have time to do anything for ourselves anymore"? Yes - Our lives have changed forever. Is this a bad thing? Most definitely not. If anything, Isla has made us appreciate how lucky we are to have been able to live the lives that we did before she arrived. Yes - She has changed the way in which we have to do things - we have to actually make plans to go away as opposed to previously being able to lock up and go whenever we wanted to. But this means we've actually spent more time at home, working on home projects and nesting, which has been great fun. Yes - We are sleep deprived. But as she gets older, she is sleeping longer, and being awake at un-godly hours throughout the night enables you to see and hear things you never would have had you been sleeping - the howls of the jackals, the hooting of an owl, and watching the sun rise at 4am are all beautiful new experiences for someone who has never been a morning person. Add into the equation that you are cuddling the most gorgeous little human being in your arms, and what more could you actually want in life?! Yes - She demands a lot of time and attention. But every moment is fleeting, and she grows so quickly that you appreciate every moment you get with her. She'll never be that small again. It's so sad how quickly she is becoming a real little person - I want her to stay small forever!

Having said all that, what about the flip side? No - We do not feel trapped in any way. We love spending time with Isla, and if that means staying at home a lot more, we're happy for it. Also, when we need to do our own things (like Midmar Mile, Dusi, Sani2C), we tag-team it! That's why there are two parents... the same applies to comments on freedom and free time. No - She does not just poop, eat and sleep. Although she does all of these things for most of the time, she is also developing every day and it is fascinating to watch her turning into a real little person with thoughts and desires. But I will admit, those poop-splosions (AKA poo-namies) are quite impressive at times, and extremely entertaining! No - There are no regrets whatsoever. None. Nada. Niks. We're actually talking about #2 already...

So, all being said and done, this whole baby thing boils down to one major point for me:

Attitude.

Get your head in the right space before trying to make another human. As fun as it is getting that little person in their little incubator (AKA having sexy time...), they are going to demand a lot from you. And take what other people say to you with a pinch of salt - they may only be trying to help, so don't get nasty with them, but make up your own mind on how things are going to work out. You are, after all, in charge of your own happiness.

And right now, happiness is....