A grape personality...

Anyone who knows me well knows that I LOVE wine. And that in itself is probably an understatement...and possibly a sneaky reason why we haven't had any babies yet - could you imagine going more than 9 months without the stuff????? The best thing I ever learnt at university was wine - how to taste it, appreciate it, and of course, recover from indulging in it! It provides me with a balanced diet (5 fruits a day, or five glasses, same thing right?) and turns me into a fantastic comedian, cook, and lover snorer...

Wine is not for everyone though, which is fair enough and I'm not too fussed about this as it means that there's even more for me :) However, people have more in common with wine than they realise, as I did just the other day. Although you may not partake in drinking the glorious stuff, everyone I know reminds me of a specific type of wine, and I thought I would share some with you....where do you fit in? ;)

Let us start with Rose (rose-ay). These are proper girly girls - pink and light-bodied, with nuances of strawberry (blonde) and a flirtatious character. More often than not, these wines are a blend of multiple varieties of wine, which can lead to a bit of an identity crisis...Not to be taken too seriously, or indulged in deep, meaningful conversation, but lovely company around the pool on a hot summer's day.

Then you get your Sauvignon Blanc's (saw-veey-nyaw-blunk)- dry, slightly fruity, and can be quite green, depending on which region they come from, (though don't take them for granted as they can pack quite a punch!). Often not everybody's cup of tea as they can come across as quite acidic or even tarty, these people are bold and outspoken. You either like them, or you don't - no skin off their teeth (or yours!) either way...

My favourite white wine, Chardonnay (shaar-don-neigh), is the most complex of the lot. Full-bodied, an absolute honey, smooth and buttery, they are regularly underestimated and shunned due to their bold unique flavour and style. A real hand-full, but worth every moment!

Moving onto the reds: the most common, Merlot (mer-louw)(NOT pronounced exactly the way it is spelt, as is often the case with our friends north of the Traansvaal River) is a good combination of down to earth and spicy, yet can still surprise you out of nowhere with a hidden complexity! The soft character of this wine often makes it an excellent partner for Cabernet Sauvignon as it tends to soften the edges of that variety. These people prefer warmer climates and have soft tannins making them easy to engage and always fun around the braai on an Autumn evening.

Cabernet Sauvignon (Cab-ber-neigh, saw-veey-nyaw) on the other hand, is a huge, powerful wine with upfront, in-your-face fruitiness. Whether blended or solo, this wine is a fan of red meat and pairs well with Indian cuisine. It's the socialite of the lot - making a bold entrance and lingering in flavour - and always trying to hook up with merlots, rose's and sometimes even shiraz's. A real jack of all trades...

Finally, there are the Port's, sweet, fortified wines that end off a good meal. Often overlooked due to their super sweet nature, these wines are great friends on a cold winter's evening or when paddling around a dam in the middle of June during duck shoot, and will never complain about being the afterthought of an evening. Always happy to participate in any adventure, and on-call 24hrs for those last minute plans, they are the coup-de-grace of any friendship circle.

All in all, variety is the spice of life, and you don't just have to stick to one wine - why not try them all?? (Best not to do this all at once though, unless you want to know what it feels like to be reincarnated - because you will DIE a slow hangover death)... Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go pour myself a super sized glass of one of the above and wallow in a hot bath.

Ciao Bella xx

“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”
― Paulo Coelho, Brida   




PE Wine Show 2011

Bestie Jessica Jane, and I



Hubby and I on one of the many wine tasting
adventures of our university days...

Diane (sister) and I enjoying a wine induced chuckle

 

You're so vain...

Women confuse the hell out of me. I know I am one, but still, girls can be "cray cray" (as my little sis puts it) about the way they look and what others think of them. So much so that they're willing to spend thousands of rands on cosmetics and trending fashion and accessories. All in the name of beauty - or a better word for it - vanity.

Don't get me wrong - I think every lady should feel beautiful. I just don't think that beauty should be such an unhealthy obsession.You should feel good about yourself every day, accepting who you are and loving life.

Are there not more important things to worry about than making sure that no one ever sees you without makeup on? Is injecting live bacteria into your face something that makes you feel sexy? Why on earth would you want to tattoo make-up onto your face or superglue plastic claws onto your fingers????

I just don't get it.

Just think about it. There's always one "poppie" at any function that you've been to that looks drop dead gorgeous in stilettos and the latest jenny button ensemble with her jimmy choo shoes, and who the guys all sneak furtive, envious glances towards every 5 minutes. Eau-de-Stutterfords-perfume-counter wafts off her in waves, as she clutches her brutal fruit in her perfectly manicured hands, and flicks her Brazilian Blow seductively over her shoulders. What you don't see is the HOURS of preparation that went into this little show - the painful waxing, plucking, scrubbing, pulling, pinching price of "beauty".

I did a bit of research into the costs involved in maintaining such a high standard of self-image. Here's what I came up with so far (not even going FULL poppie) and I think it's pretty conservative:


Spa manicure: R240                                                  Face cleanser and toner: R150
Spa pedicure: R270                                                  Anti-wrinkle face cream (day, spf): R120
Full leg wax: R170                                                    Anti-wrinkle night cream: R160
Bikini wax: R70                                                        Make-up: R300
Brow wax and tint: R100
Eyelash extensions: R150
Hair Cut, Colour and Treatment: R1000
Shampoo and Conditioner (from salon): R600
Morroccan Oil: R315/100ml

That's a total of R3645 per month - a whopping R43 740 per year! WTF????

Personally, I'll stick to my BIC razor (R29.99 for six) and colgate shampoo & conditioner (R21.99ea), and spend the remainder on a fabulous trip to Brazil, where I'll sip cocktails and watch the sunset with my hubby who makes endearing jokes about my bushy eyebrows and ski-ramp nose - the little imperfections that make me unique and beautiful, and absolutely perfect, just the way I am....

BORING...

There are a few things in life that I would consider boring - golf; those financial programmes on RT, CNN, etc, (how Dale can stay awake watching that mind-numbing number crunching drivel, I have no idea); negative people going on about how terrible their lives are and how miserable they feel and how South Africa is full of crime and blah blah blah (get over it); the ongoing Julius Malema rant (*yawn*); non-alcoholic functions (wtf??); and wasting valuable daylight hours in a shopping mall.

Dairy farming, however, is NOT boring.

My day so far has consisted of:

1) Attempting to impregnate a 500kg bovine using nothing but a shoulder length glove, a tiny straw of semen, and a metal tube. There's nothing quite like that feeling I can tell ya...

2) Enticing another 600kg bovine to swallow a magnet - yes, a magnet - to help dislodge the piece of wire that she swallowed last week.

3) Sitting on a drugged cow's head while the vet surgically removes an infected "toe" from her foot...and being slammed into the ground by said cows head during the procedure - into a nice, fresh, steaming cowpat.

4) Retrieving calves from their mothers (who are crazy beeeches when you try to take their kids away, as one would expect) and trying to tag them. Being chased around a paddock by a 500kg pissed off cow is no laughing matter...neither is tagging a 5 day old calf. Just imagine rodeo style bucking broncos and you get the picture.

5) Watching close to 60 Wattled Crane grazing in the veld.

That was just before lunch time! And my evening will probably consist of a glass of wine in front of a roaring fireplace, surrounded by my dogs and hubby - warm and clean after a good afternoon of drying off some more cows so that they can go have their babies in peace, without anyone forcing them to eat magnets or sitting on their heads or chasing them around a paddock to steal their baby...

POP-a-roo...

Dads are awesome.

Although my dad has often struggled in the female department (especially since he has always been grossly outnumbered 5-1), he has always made an effort. When we are talking about "girly things" and he walks into a room and we're suddenly silent - he quietly just walks out again and leaves us to our business. He has never tried to understand the female species, but rather has always accommodated our idiosyncrasies. He has put up with 5x PMS monthly for the last 15 years; has been through all the breakups and heartbreaks experienced by 4 daughters at different stages in their lives; has always been there to "make a plan" no matter what; and made sure that we all had the opportunity to educate ourselves and ensure that we had a future in this life. I could not have wished for a better dad.

My dad is: Sunday hockey games on the back lawn (where he was always a hopeless cheat); Driving lessons at age 12; XXX mints; Beer; Rugby; Steak and Kidney pie; Aqua Velvet; the smell of firebreaks and grease; Haga Haga nostalgia; A good bottle of red wine; Midmar Mile supporter and driver; Coffee; Ball-throwing lessons; Golf; "The secret to success is excess"; My farming mentor; My life adviser.

Happy Father's day POPs - You rock!

 

 

Rural Bliss

 A 5:30am wake-up call on a frosty, -2 degrees, winter morning is tough. REALLY tough... Plucking up the courage to escape your cosy warm cocoon, put your bare feet onto a freezing cold tile floor, and sprint to the bathroom to get dressed, takes about 10 minutes every morning. Pulling on layers upon layers of mis-matching, holey, winter clothes (cows really don't care what you wear), and rummaging around for gloves and a beanie - such is my  preparation every morning for the exodus to the dairy, where my 150 buxom bovines await their morning milking session.

You may be thinking right now that I'm crazy. Why on earth would I leave my cushy corporate job in the big city for dairy farming, one of the toughest professions out there (especially for a woman)? Well, I came up with quite a few reasons that might sway you towards my idea of paradise:

1) Traffic for me every morning at 6am consists of a couple of dirt speed bumps, a resident duiker that I have to dodge on the same corner every day, a couple of milk trucks, and possibly a rogue cow or two. The 6km trip from my house to my workplace takes me a full 10 minutes. No traffic lights. No Hawkers. No taxis.

2) Have you ever seen a midlands sunrise? Enough said.

3) My daily workout happens naturally, for free, mahala - no gym fees (or those ridiculous bunnies to have to look at, *cringe*).

4) My office is very open plan - I do inventory by walking through green fields in the sunshine, visiting my dry cows (several which you can actually give a good hug), and assisting with calvings. In summer, lunch breaks are spent swimming in dams, fishing, playing with my dogs, and cycling. It's tough.

5) We never run out of milk. Ever.

6) A trip into the closest town is rather a social affair. Accounts at every shop ensure that everyone knows your name and has a meaningful conversation with you, asking about the cows, the weather, the cutest nephew in the world - real things.

7) Living close to my family. My parents are my bosses/colleagues (ideal), and my sister also lives on the farm, meaning anytime access to the cutest nephew in the world (even more ideal).

8) The Drakensberg is less than 2 hours away, as is the sea.

9) Growing my own Vegetables, or rather, trying to.

10) Having a gazillion pets and a garden big enough to not have to worry about them.

11) Domestic Worker. Garden Girl.

12) My computer is now a recreational object, purely used for emails, facebook and blogging. I no longer have to be concerned about getting some rare disease from staring at it all day.

13) The smell of fresh silage being made in Autumn.

14) Sitting on the veranda in the evenings, sipping wine and gazing at a sky full of stars - in absolute silence, only broken by the occasional jackal call or owl.

15) Bird and game watching during work hours.

and finally....

16) Gumboots and cow pats.

So, I think it was a pretty reasonable trade. Large, busy, smokey, noisy, trafficky city life, VS rural isolation, mismatched outfits, cow dung, snow and run-away fires.... its a no brainer for me ;-)

Dream assassins...

Its 4:30 am and I'm curled up fast asleep in my bed with two felines spooning at my feet, my husband away on call duty at the hospital. Images of last night's Roland Garros victory for Rafa are dancing across my dreams and I'm suddenly sitting court side at this year's final, about to watch the king of clay defend his title. The atmosphere is electric as the crowd anticipates nothing less than a showstopping performance by the two players who now enter the court and head to their seats. But mid-stride towards his bench, Rafa's eyes meet mine, and he pauses....then slowly turns and approaches my seat. The whole arena falls deathly silent as he leans over and whispers in my ear....

HA HA HADEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yes, the unmistakable sound of that evil little bastard, Bostrychia hagedash - AKA, the Hadeda Ibis - penetrates my skull and obliterates any traces of slumber and blissful fantasies.

HA DEEEE DAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! DE DA, DE DAAAAAHH!!!!

Aaaarggh!!! So much for my sleep-in on my weekend off. How does he know that today is the first day in 2 weeks that I can sleep past 5:45am?!? Not only does he have sonic boom powers, but he's also bloody telepathic!

Now for those of you who don't have the pleasure of knowing what these animals are, I have provided a picture below. The bird on the left is commonly found throughout South Africa, whereas the one on the right can only be found in the Oak tree outside our bedroom window, before 5am, on weekend mornings.

Such is my loathing for these creatures that I am constantly trying to devise plans for their ultimate destruction. I am rather proud of my latest plan and I actually think this one may just work. It requires the cooperation of my handsome and ferocious ratter and small bird devourer, Mr Poenie Cat, who has (rather reluctantly) volunteered to take part in eradicating the Hadeda scourge from our back garden. Although I am not a very good artist, I have rendered below a basic schematic drawing of the proposed plan:

The CAT-erpault (patent pending)

You see, the idea is that, if Poenie is a good ratter, he MUST be good at killing Hadedas too. So with the element of surprise on our side, I think we can take those Mofo's down...

Introduction to me....

So....having heard all about this blogging craze, and actually subscribing to a few friends' blogs, I've decided to try my hand at this writing thing. It seems like a fun thing to do and I've always wanted to impart my opinions and wisdom on others in a novel and often sarcastic way, so what better way to do it than on a blog?!

Well, first things first then... the name is Leigh (AKA leechipip, leelee, torrus, flee, and numerous others...) and I am a dairy farmer. Yes, a dairy farmer - that means I milk cows, early in the morning and later in the afternoon again. Inbetween, I help to run things around the farm. I love the outdoors, especially in Autumn and Spring, and live in the Midlands of KwaZulu Natal, South Africa. I married my soulmate in December 2010 and no, we do not have kids yet. Surprised? Most people are, its really irritating at the best of times. My standard response to the annoying enquiry of "When are you going to start a family?" is that we're busy perfecting our technique so that our children will be absolutely effing amazeballs, and that its none of your business really, so go ask someone else...
I am an aunty to the most gorgeous nephew in the world (not biased at all) and an older sister to three very unique women. I dont take life too seriously and strongly believe that surrounding yourself with things that make you happy and feel good is the only way forward. I dont have time for negative or stupid people, period. Finally, I like wine... a lot.

So why "The Introspective Soliloquist"....what does it mean? I'm sure you all got the introspective part (thoughtful) and a soliloquist is someone who talks to themselves a lot, or to no-one in particular really. I find myself constantly chatting away to fresh air when out on the farm, and often pondering life's little intricacies and solving the worlds problems in my head as I speed around checking that everything is working and that the cows are happy. Happy cows = happy farmers.

I hope that my introspections will cause some amusement for the readers who will frequent this blog space, if any at all. Working with animals can be greatly amusing at times, as well as frustrating and heartbreaking - I hope you will enjoy this tiny insight into my crazy life and look forward to your comments and opinions.

Enjoy xx

***End of Blog post #1**** woop woop!